Don’t Connect.
Just Observe.

He does not check his DMs. His DMs check themselves, realize they are unworthy, and auto-delete out of respect. If you have a sighting to report, or a photo that captured his good side (they are all his good side), submit it below.

He does not seek followers. He accepts applications. Hit the button below to submit your request. If he accepts you, try not to make it weird.

Link to Instagram:

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Getting an email from him is statistically rarer than a total solar eclipse. Enter your email to play the lottery. If he ever decides to type, you’ll be the first to know.

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Success. You are now on the list. Please do not hold your breath waiting for an email; strictly for your safety.

Legal Disclaimer: This site is a parody and is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or remotely sober enough to be associated with Dos Equis or Heineken. No beer was consumed in the making of this HTML (allegedly)

Don’t Connect. Just Observe.

Link to Instagram:

Don’t Connect.
Just Observe.